How Being Vulnerable Sparked Life into a Player

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – James 4:6

It was all fun and games—until one of our top players fell and broke his collarbone during a Sumo challenge to break a tie on Competition Day.

It was the final training session before spring break, and the energy was high. The boys were locked in—competing hard. We had picked the teams evenly, and after three different events at training, the score was tied. Wanting to break the tie—I went with a go-to: the Sumo challenge. A 5-yard circle. Two players. First to push the other out wins. Simple, intense, fun.

Each team selected their champion, and we were off. Smiles all around. Guys battling. It was exactly the moment we’d hoped for. Then it happened.

One player pulled the other down awkwardly. We all heard the crack. Broken collarbone.

To make matters worse, this happened just before the player was set to fly home for spring break with his family. Instead of rest and relaxation, he had surgery the next day. Travel plans canceled. And just like that, he was out for the entire spring season.

On top of that, I was already carrying the weight of having to cut two players from our roster due to the new NCAA roster cap. The two players likely to be cut? His best friends. Brutal.

Although I fought to keep them, I was required to release both at the end of spring. It wrecked me. Here I was, striving to be a transformational coach—speaking life, building young men—and I had just released two first-year players who didn’t deserve it. It was hard to reconcile: they matter more than what they do on the field… yet I was the one who let them go.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2

Fast forward to the fall preseason. I had moved on—somewhat. But he hadn’t. No joy. No smiles. No passion for the game. Physically present, but clearly not here. He missed his friends. The team dynamic had shifted. And deep down, I think he was still angry—maybe not at me personally—but at what the Sumo game had cost him: his spring, his summer, his rhythm…and his friends were no longer here.

After preseason, I knew something wasn’t right. So I asked him if we could talk. I asked him to forgive me—for the silly game that resulted in his injury, and for releasing his friends. I shared how deeply frustrated I was about having to make those cuts, and told him I understood if he was hurt or angry—but that I hoped he could forgive me.

“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” – James 5:16

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

He listened. Then said, “Coach, I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I get that letting people go is part of sports. I know your hands were tied… but yeah, it was hard. And I was frustrated.”

The next day at training, he was different. He was back—loose, smiling, tackling, competing like the player we all knew he was.

And here’s the truth: I never would’ve had that conversation a few years ago. Because coaches are supposed to be tough, right? Have all the answers. Always get it right. But I’ve been humbled—by other leaders’ examples, and most of all, by the example of Christ’s humility.

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus… who made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant… he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.” – Philippians 2:5–8

Only through redemption and humility can we find the courage to be vulnerable from a place of peace. Jesus didn’t lead by demanding power. He led by laying it down. That kind of leadership changes people. It changed me. It changed that player.

So, to all the coaches reading this: be encouraged today. You don’t have to have it all together. You just have to be willing to go low.

“The greatest among you shall be your servant.” – Matthew 23:11

Live and lead with vulnerable courage.
Love your players like Christ loves you.
And trust that grace grows in the soil of humility.

“Love one another as I have loved you.” – John 13:34